Wednesday, February 17, 2010

deep thoughts

Expectations. We all have them. Things we expect to happen [grow older, have a job, get married, have kids (or not), etc.]; things we expect FROM people [respect, friendliness, dislike, indifference, etc.]; and things we expect OF people [respect, decency, interest, intellect, help, independence and/or dependence, etc.].

As life has recently shown me, one really shouldn’t expect to have a future – don’t expect things to happen … plan for tomorrow, but live for today.

But as for the people around you…an intelligent person I met many years ago pointed something out to me: NO ONE is required to live up to your expectations except for YOU.

But see, that works for the negative too. What I mean is if you try to NOT expect anything from anyone you’re still projecting your expectations on them. That goes for yourself too. Self expectations feed on comparisons. If you expect people to judge you as you see them, then you will be fighting a loosing battle. Everyone has their own definition of the world, their own interpretations, and EXPECTATIONS, of how people should be [kind/mean, happy/sad, helpful, etc.], who should do what [parents should always…?], and how they themselves should fit INTO this worldview.

And their view will NEVER be the same as yours.

So in reality, you will never live up to “their” expectations, which you have defined for them.

Hmm. I think one thing to try is to be as open-minded, -spirited, -armed, and accepting as possible. A very important friend of mine once said that he doesn’t DISbelieve anything, because anything is possible – proof can always be disproven, and vice versa.

This leads to the subject of dreams. I think everyone has a dream or two deep in their heart. Heck, many people don’t keep them buried deep, but let them out to frolic in the sunshine – possibly to grow or fade away. What I think is important is the faith and power one puts into those dreams. If it’s just a “pipe-dream” it will fade away – maybe leaving a warm glow behind full of simple “what-might-have-beens,” or leaving a dark hole waiting to fester with genuine regret. But if it’s a strong wish-dream, one with faith/power behind it, it has the potential to grow stronger, fuller, more possible in the sun – to potentially blossom.

And dreams tie back into expectations. Because the two overlap/meld/feed on each other. If you have a strong dream (not a plan, but a hope-for) then you start to push it into the realm of an expectation. Which can be either great, or dangerous – it depends on how you approach it. This is where the pain can happen – that you see the world through expectaglasses… that you start thinking all you need to do is really dream/see yourself in a situation for it to HAPPEN -- thus expecting circumstances to help things along. Those circumstances do not happen. Nothing will come along and help you get to where you want to be. It’s all up to you.

And that’s where faith and power come in, but it has to be faith in yourself and the self-power to act in/on your own behalf.

Because in the end

you are IT.


Angela said...

Hi, I came to you from Barbara. Those were wise words, I wish they would have been taught us at school! Many misunderstandings or bitterness could be avoided if people understood these simple truths. Just go on talking to yourself, I might come back.

wordwitch said...

Thank you Angela - welcome to my mutterings. Hope to see you again!