Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I couldn't have said it better!!

Go to Atomic Nerds and read a very clearly written missive - that I totally agree with.

Woo hoo!!

Sunday, April 6, 2008


I found this during a Google search:

A doubting mind
Is forced to live
In the prison of loneliness.

My mind is forever doubting these days...I doubt my appearance. I doubt my loveability. I doubt my faith. I doubt my magic. I doubt my abilities. I doubt my skills. I doubt my decisions. I doubt my strength. I doubt my future. I doubt my dreams. I doubt people around me. I doubt myself. I doubt.

Many people say it is good to doubt, to question. And I agree, to a point. It is good to question....but to doubt, for me, means to disbelieve.

The walls of this prison are damn thick. And I don't doubt them.

I don't write this to obtain pity.
I write this truth so I can see what is going on in my head.
I write to try and release the feelings, to try and heal from them.
It hasn't worked so far, but for some stupid reason, I don't quite doubt hope...though it's damn close.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

my walls

These are my walls - the ugly green and yellow walls I've been staring at for the past 12 weeks. The bland, dirty, cracked ceiling topping them.

I do have two windows in my room, but they're behind me, so I end up staring into the room, and at these walls. I watch the light move across them as the day progresses.

I plan on painting these walls sometime soon. I thought a pleasant denim blue with white trim would be nice.

Walls are a fact of life. It's how you decorate them that makes them tolerable.

Mine are thick, solid, and not very smooth.