Thursday, January 17, 2008

still captive...


Day eleven, and I'm still here....I knew that I would have darker days and brighter days as these weeks pass, but knowing about it still doesn't make dealing with them any easier.

It snowed today - I'm actually very grateful that I didn't have to deal with what looks like a very messy snow accumulation. But I'm still just sitting here....Granted, I have work to do now, but it's still work from the hated place, so it's not easy to make myself focus on it for the hours I need to....especially when there's much more interesting things to do - like read my novel, play on the interweb, SLEEP....been getting a lot of sleep lately, unlike my poor hubby. He's really gonna need a vacation from all of this soon - just so he can get some sleep. He's looking quite rundown, and it frustrates me that he's having to do so much more on top of a very difficult time at work. 'Course, at least he still HAS work - his company just laid off 10 people...that was a bit nerve wracking....

So. I'm trying hard to realize that I AM healing, that this will not go on forever. Trouble is, I'm the sort of person who likes to get things done almost as soon as I think of them (or at least within a reasonable amount of time) and I KNOW that things will change once I get my feet back under me: more aggressive job hunt, a firm and fun exercise program, cleaning the house, being able to run around town with my hubby....but I want it all NOW, not 3 months from now. Hell, I wouldn't even mind grabbing some fast food from Union Station at this point....(oh, and does anyone know for sure that if one sits in the same spot for hours, day after day, on one's bed - will it damage the mattress?)

sigh. And it's only been eleven days.

2 comments:

Philosophic Bard said...

I'd love to come up and grab a Gyro at Union Station with you. The only problem is: it would be a very expensive gyro. Train ticket, lunch, etc. I'll take a rain check?

As for your captivity, I can empathize with your situation. It's nice to sit at home and do absolutely nothing for maybe . . . a week. Max. Good job on not losing your mind completely and EATING your novel. ;)

The mattress - it can't be great for it, but I don't think you're causing any lasting damage. Depending on the last time you flipped it, you may want to do so asap when you're on your feet again. I'd be more concerned with bed sores! (I know I shouldn't pick on you, but . . . I am.)

Finally, I would recommend looking at this period not as a captivity, but as a retreat; a time to do as much navel-gazing introspection as you want; and an opportunity to develop the inner quiet that so many Americans (in particular) seem to have completely forgotten ever existed.

IntangibleArts said...

...and no smoking in bed, young lady... I realize all the other gimpy broken kids think it looks "cool", but, uh, you know...