So. I went out for lunch today, to get away from the JOB and the drudgery therein….I was walking down the sidewalk, having just crossed the street and avoiding a stupid car that didn’t really stop for the stop sign, when a pretty, young black woman stopped me.
“Excuse me” she said.
“Yes?” I responded – half expecting to be asked for spare change.
“I just wanted to tell you that I really love your hair cut” she said, then turned away.
“Thank you!” I replied, rather surprised. “Thank you very much, I appreciate that.”
“You’re welcome” she answered as she walked on.
Now…at first I was very pleasantly surprised and pleased. But then the suspicion crept in. Did she really think that, or was she responding more to my (probably) grumpy looking face? I know I know, it really doesn’t matter, does it? She gave me a compliment, made me smile, what’s “wrong” with that? And there really isn’t anything wrong, it’s just sad that I automatically questioned her motives. While my inner girl is always looking for and hoping for compliments, courtesies, acknowledgement, has my public side become so very angry and cynical?!? I had thought that the “beatings” of the world I had received growing up hadn’t left too deep a mark on me – that I was still rather innocent, open, non-judgmental, interested in learning and seeing…but maybe the damage is deeper that I thought.
Or maybe my inner girl is just growing up.