Tuesday, July 29, 2008

the complexities of a compliment and learned suspicion

So. I went out for lunch today, to get away from the JOB and the drudgery therein….I was walking down the sidewalk, having just crossed the street and avoiding a stupid car that didn’t really stop for the stop sign, when a pretty, young black woman stopped me.

“Excuse me” she said.

“Yes?” I responded – half expecting to be asked for spare change.

“I just wanted to tell you that I really love your hair cut” she said, then turned away.

“Thank you!” I replied, rather surprised. “Thank you very much, I appreciate that.”

“You’re welcome” she answered as she walked on.

Now…at first I was very pleasantly surprised and pleased. But then the suspicion crept in. Did she really think that, or was she responding more to my (probably) grumpy looking face? I know I know, it really doesn’t matter, does it? She gave me a compliment, made me smile, what’s “wrong” with that? And there really isn’t anything wrong, it’s just sad that I automatically questioned her motives. While my inner girl is always looking for and hoping for compliments, courtesies, acknowledgement, has my public side become so very angry and cynical?!? I had thought that the “beatings” of the world I had received growing up hadn’t left too deep a mark on me – that I was still rather innocent, open, non-judgmental, interested in learning and seeing…but maybe the damage is deeper that I thought.

Or maybe my inner girl is just growing up.


IntangibleArts said...

damn, woman, you think too much.

and it IS a sassy do.

'cuz i said so.

epota said...

Agreed. You think too much. Not too many folks look at a grumpy face and compliment a hair style. So it might be time to start accepting the fact that maybe... just maybe... you might have a stylin' do.

Also... you might want to lose the grumpy face. You've got too fine a personality to hide it behind a frown. Instead, take a bit of joy in the fact that you're at lunch, away from your dreaded job, and sharing a bit of time with the rest of the world.

Sure, there are many insincere folks out there. But there are many more worth sharing a bit of yourself with -- and not second-guessing the exchanges.

And tomorrow is Friday. Always a reason to be upbeat.


Aileen said...

I agree with your other commenters.

If it's your "inner girl growing up"...then you need to reverse the aging process a bit.

Take the compliment- own it!

lettuce said...

good for her coming out and telling you

believe it!

Steve said...

That's so awesome! I got a compliment on a shirt the other day, and it WAS kind of shocking -- because unfortunately it's so rare to get a compliment! But I agree with all the others -- just assume she wasn't motivated by anything other than your hair. (Which, incidentally, you should post a picture of. :) )

irecoholic said...

I like how you presented your thoughts. Don't think too much since I think the woman will not waste her time just to tell you that :)