Wednesday, April 8, 2009

no effort

I am the only one in charge of me.

I am the only one who can take care of my body, my mind, my soul, and my spirit.

And I am the one who just wants to give up and let nature take over, let the whims of chance work their wiles on me. To NOT be proactive. To NOT care what happens.

Because I am the only one to blame. And I DON’T really care at the moment.

I don’t want to be the strong, clever, forward thinker anymore.

Working hard has NEVER gotten me where I’ve really wanted to be, in the past — so what’s to say it will work in the future? Nothing.

I am so very sick and tired of this ride. I would demand a refund, but that is not a possibility.

So I will continue on, in my climate of wanting what I can’t have, wishing for the impossible. Forward into tomorrow.

But I don’t want to put forth the effort anymore.


epota said...

Whims of chance -- or even fate -- are not the answer here. All you can do is put forth your best effort. It's not always the result you wish for, but you can at least look back and know it wasn't from lack of effort.

Personally, we've had a lot of setbacks over the last several months. But we keep digging in and know that the efforts will pay off. And, more important, we're working through it together, sharing in the highs and lows.

Share. Embrace. Fight. Realize what you want (with realistic ambitions, of course. Lotto doesn't count) and keep focusing.

And hug that hubby.

lettuce said...


i can empathise with this, really

we're having a shitty time at work and its SO MUCH EFFORT to keep positive

Hug that hubby is most excellent advice