disturbing thoughts

I had a disturbing conversation (via email) with one of my brothers recently…more of a statement of beliefs than any kind of a discussion. … and it’s got me thinking about humanity. Brother stated that global warming isn’t real, that humans are not damaging this planet, we’re simply going through a normal change – he even said “Isn’t your religion Nature-based? This is just Momma Nature breathing, and of course she’ll breathe out ‘bad’ air (carbon dioxide) just as she always has.” After I got over my outrage that he tried to throw my religion back at me when he doesn’t even really understand it (because he’s never asked)….I countered, saying “So we should just ignore this and keep killing off species, depleting the Ozone, making babies and crowding the planet??” He replied “There are so many more species we haven’t even discovered; the Ozone has depleted and regained and depleted many times before in history; of course we want to make babies – unless you want a zero pop. growth!; you mean we’ve filled up all the empty space on this planet? When did that happen?”

This last statement reminded me of an acquaintance I knew out in Tucson – he also stated that we’re not overcrowded on this earth, because we haven’t filled in all the open spaces. “Look at Montana, not to mention all of Russia” he’d said.

I asked brother if we’re not overpopulated, how come we have so many people dying from starvation, drought, and disease? His reply “selfishness” didn’t seem to really answer it. How can selfishness be the whole answer, when we’re not able to grow enough food RIGHT NOW? With more people covering more of the planet – creating less land to grow food and find resources - the problem will just keep growing.

Adding to this unease, I’ve just finished reading Sherrie Tepper’s “The Family Tree” which goes into Nature, evolution, and humanity all in conflict. At one point Nature steps forward and starts “pruning” humanity – babies and children of multiple children households (more than 3-4) just disappear, and the trees trim the houses too – leaving only 3 bedrooms (one for girls, one for boys, and one for mom and dad).

I’m saddened by the thought that we (the human race) are going to just keep on keepin’ on – always saying that we’re ok for now, that we can work on the problems tomorrow, or that someone else is taking care of “it.” There’s another book I read a long time ago, which I picked up today but just couldn’t stomach – Robert Silverberg’s “The World Inside.” It’s a futuristic story (year 2381) and there are 75 billion people on the planet – all living in 1000-story Urbmons: multicity buildings which perpetuate unrestricted population growth…in fact, if you do not procreate it’s not only shameful, it can be punished.

All this makes me think. And the thoughts aren’t happy ones because it is painfully obvious that, while the human race does (eventually) learn some things, it’s often either too late, or such damage is done that the solution isn’t as positive as it could/should have been.

There are a few other things in my brother’s statement that bother me….It may be true that the earth didn’t have an ozone layer at times in its past (I can only remember reading about the original formation of it…) but without the ozone, there was NO LIFE ON LAND….“we” had to live in the water or be killed by solar radiation….And yes, there are many species on this planet we haven’t discovered yet, but does that give us the right to kill off those that we HAVE discovered?..... And one big question comes to mind, one I didn’t think to ask brother – how can we keep doing what we’re doing and still have any quality of life? If there are more and more people, there will be less and less resources – no fresh water, only that which we recycle; no fresh air, just more Code Orange days with the govt’ warning us to stay inside and wear a ton of sunscreen when we DO go out; higher and higher food and fuel prices for less and less supply. Yes, our lives today are much ‘better’ than they were 200 or more years ago: we have more vaccines, we have safer vehicles and homes, we have a wider variety of foods available…we basically live rather luxurious lives by comparison. But if we keep fouling our nest, soon we won’t have anything to keep it clean – then disease, famine, and wars will become more commonplace – and there goes our quality of life.

With the seeming increase recently of “natural disasters” I feel that Momma Nature is not happy. She’s trying to either tell us something, or, given our past reluctance to listen, she’s going to take things into her own hands:

2008 Sichuan earthquake – 69,000+ dead
2005 Kashmir earthquake – 70,000+ dead
2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami – 283,000+ dead
2003 European heat wave – 37,000+ dead
2003 Bam earthquake – 30,000+ dead
1999 Vargas mudslide – 20,000+ dead
Bird flu – 256 dead
SARS – 775 dead

AIDS – 25,250,000+ dead

Not to mention all those who have died in the various wars/police actions/conflicts/genocide (way over 11,000,000 just since 1950). Hmmm. . . .maybe we don’t have to worry about overpopulation if this trend continues. . . .But a whole lot of people are going to suffer needlessly.

The future in dreams

Dreams. I believe it's a good thing to have dreams, to follow your dreams, to dream big. If you believe in your dream, see yourself IN that dream, I believe it will come true. I also believe you should follow-through on those dreams you do pursue...don't get distracted and head off in another direction all the time. Yeah, everyone gets distracted at one time or another...but you'll only reach your dream if you really try - if you throw yourself into the belief that it can come true.

I have a current dream....It has to do with the next job I want. I know the place I want to work, in the general department I want to be. I've applied to this company a few times over the past 3 years. I've actually had one in-person and one phone interview...but it hasn't progressed more than that. But I want to work there. I know it's not going to be all peaches and cream there - after all, it is a large association. But I feel it deep inside that this is the place I should be.

Another job there (in my field) just opened up - I sent my resume a few days ago. Now I'm waiting. The waiting is hard. But this time I think I have a better shot. This time I'm approaching things with a positive, sure attitude.

I WILL get into that company. Just you watch me.

update:

Bummer - the job has disappeared from the listing, meaning it's been filled. The very quickness of its filling suggests that an internal candidate stepped up. sigh. But I'm still gonna haunt their job board....I will get in there.

Loop de loop

Sometimes it gets very frustrating being me. I know, I really don't have a choice in the matter...can't very well be someone else, right? But it gets very tiring knowing what one needs to do, and knowing one can do it, yet not being "able" to actually go through and do it. Forward momentum is an incredibly iffy thing to me these days.

Some days I'm fine - strong, semi-confidant, focused. But many days I'm not so fine. And it frustrates me that I "take for granted" where I am in life. I mean, I've got a nice house (yes, it needs things, but it's basically not bad); I've got a husband who thinks I'm beautiful, amazing, intelligent, and sexy; I have a job that pays the bills; I've got my health (basically); and I have a friend or two that seem to like me; and I've got a really good dog. So, what's my problem?

1) the house - it's really more than we should have gotten. It's expensive, it needs fixing up as well as keeping up, and we just don't have the money.

2) I don't see myself even close to the good light in which my hubby does...I feel definitely unlovely, not sexy, rather boring, and quite needy.

3) Yeah, the job. I'd like a job I am appreciated for (even slightly), where I feel like I'm accomplishing things, and that is in a better atmosphere. Would that be too much to ask for? Evidently.

4) I'm loosing the battle against my diabetes. I really think I'm going to have to go on meds soon. My weight is not going away - mainly because I can't get myself back on my diet, let alone get working out again. Granted, our new gym opens tomorrow....but we'll see.

5) But I have so MANY more "friends" that I thought cared who have completely dropped off my radar....and one of my best friends is moving out of state in less than 2 months.

6) The dog is great - but he does restrict our travels quite a bit.

So. How 'bout that. I'm just a big whiner. Oh well. Like I said, being me isn't so fun most of these days. And I hate that I can't be more upbeat and happy like I used to be, because I know it stresses out my hubby. He doesn't like it when I'm down, because he doesn't know what to do to bring me up. Not that it's his job, but he cares and wants to help. So he gets down, which brings me down because I'm bringing him down.

I know, I no longer am going forward....I'm just stuck on a loop. A vertical one, which has an upside as well as a downside. Guess where I am today?

Welcome to the neighborhood!

Ok, so Mayorga Lounge in Columbia Heights has been here a while. But as of tonight (27th of May) the lounge portion has upgraded into a really tasty venue. Before, the lounge was internet over-friendly and offered Panini sandwiches for lunches and some light appetizers/entrees in the evening. While not bad, it was more like typical coffee house fare, and not that inspiring.

Located in the old Tivoli Theater building, which they've restored quite nicely, it drew in laptop users like flies. Which actually didn't do wonders for their food sales in the evening, so to try and change the appeal they're trying a couple of new ventures. First, they shut the internet off at dinner time - while we were there tonight I saw a couple of people told that they could set up their laptops, but the internet was "off". Adding to the lack of internet is the change in mood - the lighting is much dimmer, the seating is much less coffee-house and more lounge (with low tables and comfy chairs) and the music is more mellow while still being loud enough to both enjoy it and talk to your companion. And the food...

"Before, our food sales during the week have been slow and we've had to get by on our increased weekend traffic, but a food/alcohol license requires a more even balance between alcohol and food sales. We're hoping with the new menu we'll draw in more diners" our server told us.

And I'm tellin' ya - YUM! The new menu is Japanese/Korean, cooked by a genuine Korean woman. ("I can't even talk to her!" our server confessed.) My hubby and I first shared an appetizer called Modeum Twigim (vegetables in tempura with dipping sauce) which came with 4 small sides: Kimchi, shaved radish, some sort of marinated fish, and watercress. Then, after filling up on that a bit, our entree showed up - Chop Chae Donburi, which is vegetables and wheat noodles over rice. The food was plentiful, delicious, and not too expensive. AND, as rife with food choices in the 14th street/Park Road area now, I believe this is the only Japanese/Korean offering - so hopefully this will really appeal to many.



So - next time you're in the area, stop in and have a tasty bite, relax in the dim lighting, and enjoy the ambiance and music. In fact, I'd even advise going OUT of your way to try this new menu! You won't regret it!

listen to the world

I've started back to work this week. Back to the bus/metro commute. It still surprises me how rude people are, how no-one pays attention to the world around them. Take for instance some (not all, but many) bicyclists who blow through stop signs and red lights because they think it doesn't apply to them, so that they almost hit pedestrians. Also, other pedestrians - not waiting patiently for lights, just crossing the street wherever and whenever they want, assuming that they have the law on their side so no one's going to hit them. As a driver, it really really frustrates me. Yes, I WILL stop for you if you are in the cross walk and you don't just jump out in front of me. But if you're jaywalking and just assuming I'll stop - grrrrrr. Then as a pedestrian myself, I try and work WITH traffic at corners. I watch and try and let everyone have a chance - IF they're paying attention. But DON'T honk at me if you think I'm not moving fast enough - unless you're in pain or on the way to an emergency, NOTHING in life is worth getting all worked up over, pissed and rushed about.

And then there are those who walk (and sometimes bike!!) with headphones on. I personally find this really really puzzling. Firstly, how can you watch/listen for traffic (vehicle, bike, or pedestrian) if you're locked into your own world? Doesn't this not only risk your life, but put you in the way of other's lives? What if you walk out in front of someone, they swerve to miss you and end up hurting themselves or someone else, just because you weren't paying attention? And then there's just the thought of missing the world around you - how can you hear the birds? The voices and laughter? The bark of a dog? There are so many sounds in the world - why close yourself off from all of that?

I sometimes mention how loud music actually hurts my ears, and people say "why not use earplugs?" but the problem there is - it's too complete. I end up feeling rather paranoid and cut off from the world...it's way too unnatural to me. I'm part of the world, and while it's sometimes really hard to deal with, I really don't want to cut myself off from it.

Update: Ok, two more pet peeves...

1) Unless there is absolutely NO traffic, if you have the red light and the sign says don't walk THEN DON'T WALK!! Do NOT expect me to stop when I have the green to let you cross. WAIT YOUR TURN. I don't even care if you are in a wheelchair!! Obey the lights/signs.

2) When you are riding a motorcycle, you are a vehicle IN TRAFFIC. Do not cut past me on the curb side in the bike lane....especially when I'm in the process of TURNING RIGHT!!

argh.

My awesome dad

So. My trip home to surprise dad went incredibly well. Mom picked me up at the airport, drove home and walked into the house saying "look who's here!" Dad looks up at me and then stands there stunned and speechless....heheh.

I spent Friday hanging out with him, talking about his accident and his current recovery. He seems to be dealing with it quite well - he said at one point that after his triple A surgery (abdominal aortal anurism) and his double bypass surgery, he's finally figured out that he's not going to bounce right back...that healing takes time. SEE! You're never too old to learn!!

That evening I did dinner out with mom and dad. Saturday I took my niece B. out for lunch to celebrate her 18th birthday, then went back to my parent's house. That evening my Mom had her piano student recital. She teaches piano to about 15 people - ranging from 1st grade to 12th grade - and ends her teaching year with a formal recital at a hall. It was cute. What I found really sweet was the way all the parents stopped by afterwards and said hello and good-to-see you to my Dad. That was quite touching.

Sunday being Mom's day, Mom and I went to my first High Tea. I didn't realize it takes a LONG time to do a high tea...ours went on for just over 2 hours. It was quite fun, with live music supplied by a harpist and very yummy food. At the end, all the women got beautiful pink roses. When we got home, my brother J. was there, hanging out to say hello....and shortly his two sons showed up too (19 and 21 years old). We sat around and talked a while, but at 6:00pm J. had to leave (he works midnights). The two boys wanted to hang out longer and talk to their Aunt though! After they left, mom and dad and I played Scrabble - where dad whomped both of us!! sigh...

Monday was the flight home, and it was nice to come home to a happy puppy and a loving hubby. I'll post pictures later....promise!

poor mama earth...

This is a short post - I promise to write more later about my trip up to Michigan and such...but I had to post this link: 350.org. It's a really good article about global warming and what we need to do to "preserve a planet similar to that on which civilization developed and to which life on earth is adapted"....read it.