My awesome dad

So. My trip home to surprise dad went incredibly well. Mom picked me up at the airport, drove home and walked into the house saying "look who's here!" Dad looks up at me and then stands there stunned and speechless....heheh.

I spent Friday hanging out with him, talking about his accident and his current recovery. He seems to be dealing with it quite well - he said at one point that after his triple A surgery (abdominal aortal anurism) and his double bypass surgery, he's finally figured out that he's not going to bounce right back...that healing takes time. SEE! You're never too old to learn!!

That evening I did dinner out with mom and dad. Saturday I took my niece B. out for lunch to celebrate her 18th birthday, then went back to my parent's house. That evening my Mom had her piano student recital. She teaches piano to about 15 people - ranging from 1st grade to 12th grade - and ends her teaching year with a formal recital at a hall. It was cute. What I found really sweet was the way all the parents stopped by afterwards and said hello and good-to-see you to my Dad. That was quite touching.

Sunday being Mom's day, Mom and I went to my first High Tea. I didn't realize it takes a LONG time to do a high tea...ours went on for just over 2 hours. It was quite fun, with live music supplied by a harpist and very yummy food. At the end, all the women got beautiful pink roses. When we got home, my brother J. was there, hanging out to say hello....and shortly his two sons showed up too (19 and 21 years old). We sat around and talked a while, but at 6:00pm J. had to leave (he works midnights). The two boys wanted to hang out longer and talk to their Aunt though! After they left, mom and dad and I played Scrabble - where dad whomped both of us!! sigh...

Monday was the flight home, and it was nice to come home to a happy puppy and a loving hubby. I'll post pictures later....promise!

poor mama earth...

This is a short post - I promise to write more later about my trip up to Michigan and such...but I had to post this link: 350.org. It's a really good article about global warming and what we need to do to "preserve a planet similar to that on which civilization developed and to which life on earth is adapted"....read it.

Two for one

This is a two-for-one post...meaning it's gonna cover two different subjects, though they're slightly connected.

Firstly...passion and dreams. I got to spend time talking to a marvelous new friend this past weekend while at a blogger maypole meet up. He's a Signer (no, not singer, he teaches Sign Language) up in NY. I mentioned to him my old dream of becoming an interpreter, and this got me thinking....There are a few things I would really, truly love to do, if I had the money. This isn't to say that each of these would cost money, just that if I had enough $$ to not have to work, I'd have the time to do all that I really want to do (yes, I know that's rather obvious, so shoot me).

What sort of things am I blathering about? Well, in no order of preference I would really, absolutely love to: become a Sign Language interpreter; get my pilot's license so I could fly corporate jets or charter planes; flit off anytime to be an extra in a movie set; open a used bookstore; buy a motorcycle. These are the TOP dreams of the moment. They've been with me for a long time...they've become old friends in my subconscious...and while I've made small, pathetic attempts to fulfill some of them, I doubt they'll ever really come to fruition, unless I win the lottery. So I just keep dreaming them, and wishing.....and playing the lottery.

I have a few sayings that I hold to my heart, and one of them is: one just never knows.....

Ok. Second part. Maypole pictures!! Here are just a couple that I found most joyful. Enjoy!!

mutterings

I've been wracking my brain for a blog subject. I know, I know...one shouldn't focre a blog entry. It's just that I haven't written anything in a while, so I'm beginning to feel a touch guilty to those very few who actually read this....

I thought about writing a blog on passion...but couldn't coordinate my thoughts.

I thought about writing a blog on moonlight, and the Goddess....but since I've been feeling rather non-committal re. my feelings on my religion, I couldn't pin down anything solid.

I even thought about writing about things that have been happening...but nothing has really happened....

...don't get me wrong, I HAVE been doing things:

*My leg is 90% better, and I'm walking mostly without a crutch, though some days the crutch is a good thing to have. Physical therapy is a wonderful thing.

*I went to a fantastic May Day Maypole party and met some really awesome people...all bloggers themselves.

*I had a good interview, but never got a final offer. I start back to work in the office tomorrow....bleh. I'll only be going in part-time for the next 3 weeks, then the week of Memorial Day will be my first "full-time" stint.

So my life hasn't been totally bland. Oh, and I'm going up to Michigan to visit my folks this coming weekend - but my Dad doesn't know I'm coming...I wanted to surprise him.

Anyhoo....here's a picture of mine that makes me happy. Cheers!

I couldn't have said it better!!

Go to Atomic Nerds and read a very clearly written missive - that I totally agree with.

Woo hoo!!

doubt

I found this during a Google search:

A doubting mind
Is forced to live
In the prison of loneliness.

My mind is forever doubting these days...I doubt my appearance. I doubt my loveability. I doubt my faith. I doubt my magic. I doubt my abilities. I doubt my skills. I doubt my decisions. I doubt my strength. I doubt my future. I doubt my dreams. I doubt people around me. I doubt myself. I doubt.

Many people say it is good to doubt, to question. And I agree, to a point. It is good to question....but to doubt, for me, means to disbelieve.

The walls of this prison are damn thick. And I don't doubt them.


I don't write this to obtain pity.
I write this truth so I can see what is going on in my head.
I write to try and release the feelings, to try and heal from them.
It hasn't worked so far, but for some stupid reason, I don't quite doubt hope...though it's damn close.

my walls

These are my walls - the ugly green and yellow walls I've been staring at for the past 12 weeks. The bland, dirty, cracked ceiling topping them.

I do have two windows in my room, but they're behind me, so I end up staring into the room, and at these walls. I watch the light move across them as the day progresses.

I plan on painting these walls sometime soon. I thought a pleasant denim blue with white trim would be nice.

Walls are a fact of life. It's how you decorate them that makes them tolerable.

Mine are thick, solid, and not very smooth.