All about ME!

I’m accepting Ambulance Driver’s non-tagging, with a will not to disappoint. I too, however, will not hunt down and tag 7 people…mainly because I don’t think I KNOW 7 bloggers on which to hang a tag!! So here we go…


Here are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things and add a copy of these rules. THEN, you need to choose 7 people to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!


1) I love wolves. I identify with wolves. I think they are the best example of family, honesty, and wildness that can be found these days. The Grey Wolf in particular earns my favor. They form packs that not only care for each other and raise the pups all together, but they have fun, learn from each other, and generally do not get into anything gang related in their neighborhood. They have integrity. They are beautiful.

2) I have 3 brothers (all older than me) who are very different people – different from each other, but also from me. They are all Christian – I am not. They all have kids – I do not. Each of their wives does not work – both me and my hubby work a lot. I seem to see the value and work that our parents put into raising us and making us each strong, independent people – they usually do not. sigh.

3) I’ve lived in 5 different “states,” all within the past 15 years. I grew up and lived in Michigan for 30 years, moved to Arizona (miss it!!) and stayed there for almost 8 years, moved to Maine for a year, moved to Maryland for 2 years, and now live in DC. (DC isn’t a state, hence the quotes around the word above.) The hardest move was from AZ to Maine….major culture shock there. From 700,000 people to 33,000 people….and COLD!!!

4) I constantly daydream about how I’d deal with winning millions of dollars in the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. Who would get what from me – my family, those few friends I do have, what I’d buy…where we’d travel for the next 6 months. What kind of investments I’d make. And especially how quickly I’d pay off ALL of my debt!!

5) I’ve always had a battle with my self-esteem. As a young girl I was constantly picked on – either for my red hair, or my last name (Scags, which has a rhyming connotation with my name, was a common nickname the boys would yell at me), or just because I was a bit different in some unknowable way. I don’t know if it was that which caused me to start doubting myself, or what, but the habit is firmly entrenched, even after I succeed at something – getting a blue ribbon at a horse show, taking flying lessons, seeing my by-line in a magazine – there is always doubt.

6) I love to read. But I am not into bibliographies, non-fiction (mostly), or historical stuff (even historical fiction turns me off most of the time). No, my forte is much more narrow. I would say it’s Science Fiction & Fantasy, but even that isn’t right, because I don’t like the “hard” SF of space battles, and I’m not into a majority of the Sword & Sorcery stuff. I prefer certain styles and certain authors. The style I like the most I call “crossover” … it’s where the “real” world of everyday is crossed with magic or fantastical happenings – Tanya Huff’s Blood series offers up a Toronto private investigator and introduces a Vampire, Werewolves, and ghosts. Or Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files (much better in novel form than in the TV series). I’m also into mysteries – but again, I prefer a mystery that has a main character who we can follow through a series of books – Grafton’s alphabet series, Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series, as examples.

7) I am a very gregarious person. I like to be with people, talk with friendly people, help with their troubles. I am a bit of an empath, and have found myself many times able to help someone through a bad time without the “benefit” of previous experience…somehow I just KNOW what to say or do. But then I also like my alone time – things MUST get quiet sometimes.

So. There we have it – my Seven Things. Makes for a long blog entry, but then it also acts as a bit of an introduction to those few out there who read my blog. Hope I haven’t said anything to alienate anyone!!

Cheers,
Wordwitch

Which way should I go?!

Changing one’s direction. This is a very daunting challenge that I think may be bigger than I anticipated. I mean, I’ve been an editor for nigh-on 12ish years now. Granted, I had almost a year and a half off while I tried for a Masters degree (and also while I was stuck in the wilds of Maine!)….but it’s been a kind of passion of mine for many years. I think some of the reason that I keep veering back toward it is because it’s safe – I know this stuff, basically.

But my wonderful father proved to me that you CAN change your direction at any age. He retired from teaching elementary school (anything from 1st grade to 7th) at the age of 57….but then he got bored, so he went back to school and graduated as an RN at the age of 63. And then he worked in a hospital for a few years. These days (he’s almost 78) he putters around as a Master Gardner, occasionally working for the City, and hangs out with his Welsh Pembroke Corgi named Bear.

As for me - I’m interested in a number of career fields…but other than reading job descriptions, and seeing where the local “shops” are…how does one convince a potential employer that you’re worth the gamble? I mean, I’m not a young, freshly graduated, wet-behind-the-ears person who can accept a low-paying starter wage. I have years of job experience, even if it’s NOT in the specific fields I’m looking at. I’m reliable, a very quick learner, highly personable, and damn – I’m cute too. Ask me, I’ll tell ya!

Ahem.

Anyhoo. Any advice on trying to get into: Aviation (charter clerk? I’ve had some ground school, and flown a Cessna a couple of times…would LOVE to be a pilot, but no $$$ for that...but I have some great organizational skills); Film/Movie Editing; Law (paralegal-ish); or some sort of career where I can apply my strong problem-solving tendencies would be muchly appreciated. Or even ideas of any sort. I’ve got a few active resumes out there in my current field, but DC just ain’t real big on publishing, and what they do have is highly competitive stuff. I mean – to work at National Geographic or the Smithsonian magazine…wow, that'd be a kick! I'll keep looking into alternate fields, though...I think a change would be good for me.

Oh, and to add to the stress these days….my hubby’s boss just gave notice today! Woo hoo!

Just listen to the words...

Song lyrics really speak to me sometimes. I can feel the images and see the emotion entwined in the words, and picture what I think would be happening.

Take for instance the line …“And Breathe…Just Breathe”…from Anna Nalick’s song Breathe…Very good advice when one is stressed and overwhelmed. Always try to remember to stop what you’re doing once in a while – reassess – and look at the world with open eyes. It’s a magical world. A beautiful world. Yes it has some really horrible things in it, and bad things do happen. But the WORLD – Momma earth – is always there, sturdy-strong-beautiful, with tall trees, green grass, strong cactus, impressive mountains, and soothing waters. And listen to the words…

“Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud. And I know that you'll use them, however you want to”

…so use them to let your heart and mind soar. Let them talk to the world for you, or use them to say what you just can’t. Remember, words ARE magic – full of power both positive and negative. Watch what you say, because you may wound when you don’t intend harm. Because intention and inference are two very different things.

So stop sometime today, look up into the sky – if it’s cloudy look at the patterns the clouds make, the colors that are subtle and shifting. If it’s dark, try and count the stars, or say hello to the moon. If it’s a blue sky, breathe deep and realize it’s only going to get better – slowly maybe, maybe even too slowly for you to see – but it will get better. Heck, even if it’s good now, it’ll get better! Wow, huh? Though loneliness, heartbreak, stress, and a less-than-bright future may be trying to beat you down – and everyone gets to deal with this stuff – remember these words:

“Singing amen, I, I’m alive” – by Nickleback (If Everyone Cared).

Have a great day and know that somewhere, SOMEone is thinking of you.

Wow, and thanks

The magic of blogging became evermore clear this morning. Thanks go to Babs RN, for adding me to her line-up. And AD, thank you too, for such awesome words...I'm taking them to heart.

I am amazed at the versatility of blogs. I've seen some who rant, some who immortalize, some who joke, and some who just talk to the world. It makes me think about the advances we all seem to take for granted. Think about it - 10, 15 years ago blogs were a thing of science fiction. Now people can write their heart out, and once in a while find a friend, or comrade in arms, or a co-conspirator! This is an amazing thing.

I think I may be hooked.

wonderings and ponderings

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs recently. Some of them are really well written, with fantastic stories, messages, and discussions. It makes me think that I really don’t have anything to say – that my life is pretty simple…maybe even boring. I mean, all I do is go to work (where I’m bored senseless and about as useful as a used paperclip), come home and take care of our puppy. Sometimes I get to hang out with my hubby, but recently the poor guy has been overloaded with work.

One of the blogs I really like is A Day in the Life of an Ambulance Driver. He’s an amazing writer, with both skill and heart to his writing. His recent entry about his father’s passing brought tears to my eyes. But I am ashamed to say that the main feeling I came away from his blog with is “why can’t I write like that?” …. Why can’t I have passion about something – work, life, literature?….I feel rather passionless these days.

The power of words – spoken or written – is truly amazing. They can last forever, if you let them; both positive and negative. If someone tells you you’re a talented singer/writer/sports player/whatever when your very young, this should really help build your confidence….give you a firm foundation on which to build your self-image. But then, if enough (or sometimes only one person with a “strong” personality) people tell you that you’re dumb, stupid, mediocre, or “not that good”…this sinks in and can cause your foundation to be riddled with weakness, and make you prone to doubt yourself, no matter what those around you now say.

I’ve had a couple of people really decimate my self-confidence when it comes to my writing. I KNOW I need to let it go, and listen to those around me now who know me and have told me I’m good. But to paraphrase Pretty Woman “It’s easier to believe the bad stuff than to believe the good stuff.”

Another blog I read is Living Single in the Buckle of the Bible Belt. This woman is a spitfire, someone I can see would be a good friend, someone you could hang out with, learn from, laugh with. She has spirit, a great sense of humor, and is also a damn fine writer. Again though….she makes me realize I really haven’t taken the time to analyze my life, to really look at myself and know what makes me tick.

On top of this, my JOB has been making me examine my life and I have begun to realize that I don’t really have any kind of a goal, or ambition, or drive to my life. I’m just kind of drifting. I’ve been really questioning if I want to stay in publishing, or if I should branch out into something new. But starting new at 40+ is a very scary, risky, and expensive move. And trying to define one’s passions really isn’t an easy thing to do. Do I really feel passion about aviation or is it just a passing fancy? (I have taken ground school twice, and have flown a small Cessna a few times – which was fantastic, but expensive.) Should I look into taking my editing into the aviation field, or should I shift into something other than editing….like a charter clerk (I have a really good head for organizing things)? And what about my interest in film editing…I’ve never done it, but I think I’d make a really good continuity editor. But . . . I still don’t know what to do….so I’ll stay with the status quo, and try to give myself some more time to think.

For the time being, I guess I’ll just keep reading – both blogs and books (What Color is Your Parachute, and Life’s a Bitch and Then You Change Careers). One never knows where or when an answer may show up….sometimes if you just keep looking, that alone can provide the direction needed.

This is a long entry, and to the 2-3 people who read it, I apologize that it also doesn’t have much of a point….it is, as the title says, just a bit of wondering and pondering.

Blip

Ok, not too much here....

Puppy is older. Just past 13 weeks, and growing like a WEED! We're still trying to get the back yard fenced in, but have been jury-rigging some fencing so he can run around (and get tired out) without a leash on. He starts training this coming Saturday (the 7th) so hopefully that will really ease things around here. He's gotten a lot better on leash - walks all the way to the park and back now, rather than being carried.

Job is still the same, but I had 2 interviews last week, and both went really well! I wouldn't mind either job, though the Association one would be better - closer to my hubby's work. I just hope I have something new by the end of April....

As for me. Having the tendency to rollercoaster - up, down, up, down.... maybe it's stress, maybe it's the season change that's happening VERY slowly....Just wish it'd stop on an up-swing for a while.

My writing class is almost over - last "class" is tomorrow (Monday)...I say it with quotes because it's not going to be a meet-in-person class, but rather a emailed final with a deadline of Midnight for the writing.

Anyhoo. Not too much else to report.

Tuesday mutterings

Not too much to talk about today. I realized, though, that this blog is turning into a bit of a downer...and to the 3-4 people who actually read this - I apologize.

So. Today is Tuesday. It wasn't too good a day for our new puppy....he had a bit of a melt down because he was crated more than once. But he's ok now. We just went for a bit of a walk, and he almost did it all without being carried! He's a beautiful boy, I just wish he could understand me when I say "it's ok, I'll always come back home from work!!"

So. Now I know a bit more how a new mother (and new parents) feels....Anyone want to puppy sit occasionally?

As for the job front....I'm still searching. My current job is not the right mix for me. I know there isn't such a thing as the "perfect" job - one where the employee feels comfortable to be who ever he/she is; a place where the work is challenging, educational, and not too frustrating; an environment that encourages intelligent thought, original ideas, and fun; and the pay is - maybe not great - but definitely ok to good. But I think I can find one a bit closer to that ideal than the one I have....which doesn't hit 3 of those 4 criteria. So I'm sending out resumes. I sent one out today that I REALLY hope to at least interview for.....

One really nice bright spot is the weather!!! Thank the gods for this glorious 70 degree weather!! I know we're supposed to dip back into the upper 40s this weekend, but knowing that it isn't permanent, and that warmer weather IS on the way makes this pagan quite happy!!!

Woo hoo!!